It’s been a crazy couple of years, truly! I am trying to tell this story as light as I possibly can… There are tons of aspects I am not ready to share yet, and maybe never. So here we go…
End of 2018…
Still in Barcelona, Spain. I have been sewing a few things (a corduroy jacket, a silk jacket, a Chanel-inspired jacket, a silk georgette blouse, a viscose blouse, and some more), drafted by me. Some of those never got photographed, and those that I could photograph I am happily sharing here.
I have been knitting a little bit too. And as same as with sewing I did not get to photograph everything I have made. Those who made it are Gown Cardigan, Skew Cardigan, Sweater for my hubby, navy blue and light blue garter stitch scarves, and some beanies which I will be sharing soon. It is not that cold in Barcelona in winter, but the wind is crazy!!!
I know I have made pretty many things in sewing and knitting, but I already started having some feelings that I did not want to create anything, I had to push myself. The feeling was like there was no energy at all.
At the beginning of 2019, we had to move to another country. I had gifted my sewing machine with most of the accessories. I have not sewn anything since then…
For the whole year, I could not knit anything or crochet. Maybe it was a depression, I do not know. I could have never imagined myself without creating anything with my hands. I could not even cook! No mood, no inspiration, no…well, nothing! In the middle of that state, I did manage to buy needles and crochet hooks, but I did not touch them until 2020.
This weird state lasted till the end of 2019.
One note here, depression can look smilie and like nothing is wrong. If someone you know suddenly stopped doing what they loved, but they say that everything is ok, do NOT believe them…
At the beginning of the year, Alejandro decided to take some steps by himself in order to take me out of that state of no creativity. Alejandro bought some yarn for me, this was it!!! (Yeah, I was so frozen that could not even buy yarn by myself).
I started slowly unfrozing and I started knitting… I cannot even imagine how long it could have taken me to get myself out of that state! Alejandro brought me back!
At the beginning of 2020 we also (finally!) were supposed to move to another country. And, well… just 30 days before the pandemic started… So, we got stuck…
Here I will just say that I am appreciative that things somehow worked out for us in terms of health and safety.
We could finally get out of that country… And this time we had 15 days before the flight when…well, war happened. No flights, no money exchange, no bank cards working, no possible transferences. Everything blocked. Chaos on the streets…
Mid 2022 we got out of there.
In another country. We are safe. Alive. Crazy headaches, and just wanna scream in pain sometimes; digestive disorders; skin eruptions, heart pain, breathing problems. Experienced earthquake. Terrified. Doing my best to focus on what I want, what I love. Getting better with my health in December.
Planning our future, the next place of living, a better future, a calmer future, a happier future.
What I have learned
- Do what you love, what makes you happy, do it now, NOW! Own what you love, wear what you love. There is no time for anything else! Get rid of everything else.
- Think of what you love, of what you want. Everything else is just noise.
- Respect others. You do not like, do not agree. Move away. You do not know what that person is going through. No, they do not have a right to treat others badly, but the negative reaction of your side won’t help anybody. Angry people, sad people, and depressed people need help, not another slap. You are not obligated to help anybody, just try not to make it worse. Negativity never changed anything for the better!
- Do not do to others something you do not wish to receive. There is no one better than you and you are not better than anyone else.
- Appreciate peace. Appreciate quality water and quality food.
- Take care of your health, no one will do it for it, no one can do it for you.
- If you know somebody who stopped doing what they love, if you feel like something is wrong, but they are assuring you that they are ok with a big smile… Well, depression does not always look sad. I was assuring my husband, that I was fine, that maybe I did not want to knit or crochet anymore…I was out of sewing… Well, I do think I believed myself, but it was a so good thing that he felt something was weird and tried everything to bring me back!